Parental Alienation:

Is My Child Being Turned Against Me?

By Raman De Souza

Parental alienation happens when one parent manipulates a child into rejecting or fearing the other parent. Learn how courts in Canada address parental alienation, what remedies are available, and what steps you can take if you believe it’s happening to you.

Understanding Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when one parent, whether intentionally or subconsciously, encourages a child to feel anger, fear, or resentment toward the other parent. In other words, it is when one parent undermines the child’s relationship with the other.

It is a legal concept, not a psychological diagnosis. The alienating parent may misrepresent, criticize, or devalue the other parent, effectively “re-writing” the child’s memories or experiences with that parent.

This is different from Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), a term introduced by Dr. Richard Gardner in 1987, which describes the child’s attitudes and behaviours toward the alienated parent rather than the alienating parent’s actions.

When the Courts Will Step In: The Child’s Best Interests

The Supreme Court of Canada (1996) emphasized that maintaining a child’s relationship with their psychological parent, the parent who provides emotional stability and security, is often one of the most important factors in the child’s long-term well-being.

Research consistently shows that children thrive after separation when they maintain meaningful relationships with both parents. Courts, therefore encourage these relationships unless there are legitimate safety or welfare concerns.

When deciding whether to intervene, courts apply the best interests of the child test under the Divorce Act. This principle means that the child’s needs take priority over either parent’s wishes.

In evaluating best interests, courts consider factors such as:

1. The child’s physical, emotional, and psychological needs;
2. The nature and strength of the child’s relationship with each parent;
3. The child’s own views and preferences (when appropriate); and
4. Each parent’s ability and willingness to care for the child.

While expert reports and assessments can assist, they are not always required—judges may rely on testimony and evidence directly from the parties.

How the Courts Can Respond

Canadian courts have broad discretion to address parental alienation. Depending on the circumstances, remedies may include:

1. Changing Decision-Making Responsibility or Parenting Time

In Hong v. Rooney (Ontario Superior Court of Justice), the court granted a father sole custody after finding that the mother had denied him access to their daughter for over a year, despite multiple court orders. The court held that the mother could not prioritize the child’s needs over her hostility toward the father.

2. Restricting or Supervising Access

Courts may temporarily suspend or supervise the alienating parent’s contact with the child to allow the alienated parent–child relationship to rebuild in a stable, supported environment.

3. Adjusting Financial Support

In Bruni v. Bruni, the court described the mother’s behaviour as “shocking” and “evil,” finding that she had irreparably harmed the father–daughter relationship. Her spousal support was reduced to $1 per month under the Family Law Act, which allows adjustments for “unconscionable” conduct that constitutes a “gross repudiation of the relationship.”

4. Other Possible Remedies

Courts may also:

1. Modify parenting and access orders;
2. Hold a parent in contempt for breaching court orders;
3. Order family reunification or therapeutic intervention; or
4. Impose other measures to protect the child’s emotional well-being.

What to Do If You Suspect Parental Alienation

If you believe your child is being turned against you, act quickly. Early intervention can make a significant difference.

1. Document Everything

Record any changes in your child’s behaviour or attitude toward you. Use an online journal or secure note-keeping app that automatically timestamps entries—this helps preserve credible evidence for your lawyer.

2. Communicate (If Safe and Appropriate)

If possible, discuss your concerns calmly with the other parent. Ask if they’ve noticed similar changes in the child’s behaviour. Keeping communication constructive may help prevent further escalation.

3. Speak to a Family Law Lawyer

Parental alienation can be complex and emotionally draining. A family lawyer can help you identify early warning signs, document evidence, and take legal steps to protect your relationship with your child before lasting harm occurs.

We Can Help

If you are concerned that your child is being alienated from you, our experienced family law team can guide you through your options and help you protect your relationship with your child.

 Contact Raman De Souza at raman@sorbaralaw.com or 519-741-8010 ext 310 to schedule a confidential consultation. We can help you take the right steps early and strategically to safeguard your role in your child’s life.