Do I really need a lawyer for my separation?

By Jennifer Black

When you’re facing separation, it’s natural to feel uncertain about where to start and whether you really need a lawyer. Many people worry that involving a lawyer will automatically make things more complicated or adversarial. The truth is it doesn’t have to.

If your goal is to separate respectfully, maintain open communication, and avoid court, working with a collaborative family lawyer can help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

A collaborative separation (sometimes called collaborative divorce) is a respectful, problem-solving approach to resolving family matters outside of court. Each spouse has their own collaboratively trained family lawyer, and the couple works together often with the help of neutral professionals such as financial professionals and family professionals to reach fair, lasting agreements.

This process is designed to protect relationships, reduce stress, and create solutions that work for the entire family.  Even when separation is amicable, there are important legal and financial details to address, including:

• Parenting arrangements and decision-making responsibilities

• Child and spousal support

• Division of property and debts

When couples separate it can feel tempting for them to handle things privately.  However, without legal advice, even well-intentioned agreements can cause serious problems later. Many couples start out thinking their separation is simple.  You may agree on a parenting schedule and how to divide assets.  However, separation is more than just a personal decision as it is a legal process that impacts your financial future.  Without a lawyer couples often overlook important details such as exchanging full financial disclosure which means they may not be making informed decisions and are also putting any agreement entered into at risk of being set aside by a court.  Under Section 56(4)(a) of the Family Law Act, a court can set aside a separation agreement if one party fails to disclose significant assets or debts.  A lawyer will guide you through the process of exchanging proper financial documentation, helping you make informed decisions and protecting your agreement from future challenges. 

Having a lawyer can help you avoid costly mistakes.  Couples who do it on their own enter into “paper napkin” separation agreements which are handwritten notes about who gets what or they may attempt to draft their own agreements using online templates or borrowed agreements from friends or family.  Unfortunately, this often leads to agreements with contradictory terms, vague terms, or can even lead to the issue of whether you even have a valid agreement to begin with.  These issues can result in expensive legal battels down the road.  Having a lawyer at the outset can assist to ensure your agreement is clear, enforceable, and is tailored to your unique situation. 

Proper legal drafting of a separation agreement prevents misunderstandings or future court battles.  Every family is different so a lawyer will help you find solutions that work for you.  Having a lawyer prepare your separation agreement and advise you with respect to the terms of the Agreement will provide you with clarity and peace of mind about your future obligations.   A clearly written agreement, where proper financial documentation is exchanged and both spouses have had independent legal advice will avoid enforceability issues that could otherwise arise if those elements are not present. 

In a collaborative separation, your lawyer is your guide and advocate, helping you navigate the legal process with compassion and cooperation.  Even if you and your spouse agree on most issues, having a collaborative lawyer ensures that your separation is handled thoughtfully, fairly, and with lasting peace of mind.

If you’re exploring separation or divorce and want to avoid court, collaborative family law may be right for you.  Contact our office to learn how we can help you resolve matters respectfully and create a positive foundation for the next chapter of your life.

Contact Jennifer Black (E:jblack@sorbaralaw.com P:519.741.8010 ext. 305), a Family Lawyer practicing out of SorbaraLAW's Waterloo office.